Re-listed
by DeBo81
Summary: So many of Rick and Kate's dreams have come true, but many more are waiting to be realized. When Kate finds out that being with her, is at the top of Rick's bucket list, she can't help but wonder what's next. Picks up after "Scared To Death". Rated T


**This fic takes place directly after "Scared To Death" and is rated T. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle of any of the characters. I've simply borrowed them for fun and will returned them at the end of the story.**

**So many of Rick and Kate's dreams have come true, but many more are waiting to be realized. When Kate finds out that being with her, is at the top of Rick's bucket list, she can't help but wonder what's next.**

"Re-listed"

by DeBo81

Kate's eyes opened slowly as they adjusted to the early morning light filtering in through the curtains in Castle's room. When she realized how early it must still be, and how much longer they could still sleep, she shut her eyes firmly and snuggled her cheek deeper into Rick chest.

Still exhausted from the previous days, she longed for sleep to return, but the glimpse of Castle's bucket list, pinned to his nightstand under their empty glasses, had already burned its image onto the backs of her eyelids, awakening her mind and heart. Despite her best efforts to ignore it, to push it back into the recesses of her brain, she continued to dwell on it.

_Be With Kate. _

It was number one on the list of things he'd wanted to accomplish in his life. Out of everything there was to do, to experience in life, especially for a man with the resources and connections that Rick had; yet he'd yearned to be with her. Her! She knew he'd been interested since day one, and somewhere along the way it had developed from infatuation to friendship and then... more. Her mind quickly replayed the day in the cemetery where he knelt over her, christening her with his tears, while he begged her to fight for her life; to stay with him. And then again the night last spring in her apartment, where he again begged to turn from the past that threatened to drown her, and instead, live the life she had in front of her. When she closed her eyes tighter and allowed it to happen, she could still hear him telling her he loved her.

Love. It was a word that scared her, so she instead of meeting it face on, she (and he by default), had placed it on a shelf to be faced another day. She still knew he loved her, even if they danced around the actual word. And if she were to be completely honest, she loved him too. But she couldn't admit it out loud, not yet. That would make it official, concrete, real. Life had shown her one too many times that people she loved were all too soon lost. She couldn't chance that happening again. Not this time. Not with Castle. So instead, she kept the words trapped deep within her soul and hoped that her feelings radiated out through her actions, through their meaningful looks, and passionate kisses.

Kate remained so deep within her thoughts, she hadn't even realized that her eyes had drifted open again, and focused completely on the scrap of paper.

"Hey." Rick's gruff, early morning greeting rumbled from deep within his chest, into her ear pressed against his warm skin.

"Hey," she smiled back before lifting her face to his for a whisper of a kiss.

"Everything OK?" he asked while carding his thick fingers through her long wavy hair.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, it's kinda hard to tell from this angle, but you looked... concerned."

"Oh. Um, not really, just lost in thought."

"All good I hope."

"I, uh..." Kate propped herself up on one elbow and slid her bare thigh up over his. A smile played on her lips. She really did care about this man more than she ever imagined possible. "Yes, all good Castle."

"Good. I hate to see you worried about anything."

"I know you do."

Before she could say anything else, Rick surprised her by completely shifting his weight so that they half flipped. Now Kate was on her back and he rested on his elbows which were digging deep into the plush mattress on either side of her rib cage.

When he brought his hungry mouth down onto her hers, all conversation was ended for quite a while.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kate stood at Rick's dresser and finished tugging her hair into a messy knot, while watching him in the reflection, making the bed. When he threw the last of the pillows into place and then began to collect the glasses and stuff from the nightstand, she spun around.

"So what are you going to do with that now?" she asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"The glasses? I planned to wash them."

"No, your bucket list. Are you gonna just keep plugging away at completing it?"

He scanned the list briefly. "Looks like I've got almost everything done." He leveled her with a meaningful, yet flirty, million-watt grin. "At least all the important ones."

Lord, but that man knew how to use subtext. Butterflies danced in her belly, something that even after all this time, took her by delighted surprise.

"I guess I don't really need it any more." He shrugged and dropped the slip of paper into the trash as he left the room.

Kate gasped ever so softly and double checked that he was still retreating to the kitchen, before dashing to the waste basket and removing the list. She used her palm to flatten out any wrinkles and then carefully folded it, before slipping it into her pocket. It killed her to think of that particular list being thrown away.

"Pancakes or eggs?" Rick called from the other room, drawing her out to him.

"Either is fine, as long as they're served with coffee."

"Already brewing."

With Rick mixing the pancake batter, she headed to the fridge to look for bacon. Although it didn't happen too often, cooking with Castle was another sweet morsel of their relationship that she loved.

With her head buried in the cupboard, as she searched for the large frying pan, Kate asked the question that had been burning with curiosity since Rick had discarded his list, "So are you going to make a new bucket list?"

He didn't answer until she stood up. "You think I should? I mean, I've already done more than I ever dreamed possible."

"It's always good to have goals."

"True. And I still haven't made it to Antarctica."

"There's always that."

Rick carefully poured the batter onto the hot griddle, creating two perfect hearts. "Ah-ha! I did it! Guess I don't have to worry about adding that to any bucket lists." He grinned up at Kate who watched him with unabashed amusement.

"You're adorable, you know that Mr. Castle?"

He waggled his eyebrows playfully. "That's the rumor."

XXXXXXXXXX

Two weeks later, Beckett sat at her desk, pouring over paperwork, notes and computer files. It was late; much later than she ever liked to be at the station on a Friday night when there were no open cases, but she was on the verge of a three day weekend and didn't want to leave before putting the mountain of paperwork to rest.

She glanced at the clock on her monitor, 10:36. "You know Castle, you don't have to wait for me. It's late. Go home. Relax. I swear, I'll still come over when I'm done."

"Nope."

Kate rolled her eyes, but he saw it, even from his seat next to her desk, where he sat doodling in his writer's notebook.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. It's my birthday and I can do what I want to."

"It's not your birthday until Monday."

"But when you asked what I wanted for my present and I told you that I just wanted to be alone with you for one whole weekend without interruptions, you promised me that's what I'd get. So now it's the weekend, I'm not leaving your side."

"It's Friday night, it's not the weekend yet."

"It is for me, and I'm the birthday boy, so I'm staying."

Kate sighed but continued working. "Don't you need to go pack or something?"

"Done."

"Seriously? You never pack til the last minute."

"We're going to be alone at my beach house for three days... how much can I need? My toothbrush is already there, and I carry my smile with me wherever I go."

"You're incorrigible."

"I'm adorable, and you love it!"

Kate shook her head but smiled anyway. Of course he was correct. "I should only be another half hour or so. I'll try to hurry."

"Take your time, Do what you need to do." He assured her, but then tagged on, "Just remember, the longer it takes here, the longer you have to wait to be seduced by yours truly." He conspicuously ran his large hand up her leg and squeezed her inner thigh.

An actual giggle bubbled out of her. Quickly she looked around to make sure no one saw or overheard, but the bullpen was virtually empty. Detective Genison who was waiting to hear from the crime lab, was napping in the break room, and Fulton had left to grab some food and hadn't yet returned.

The heat from Rick's hand, slowly bled through her jeans, distracting her to the point of almost calling it a night. Her sense of duty ultimately remained firm though, begging her to find something other than carnal promises to focus on.

Kate swatted Castle's hand away, with a soft, "Later". He returned to his notebook, but only after sweeping her body once over with an impassioned stare.

Forty minutes later, her computer was shut down and they'd donned their coats. After saying a quick goodbye to Genison and Fulton who were now scarfing down tamales in the lounge, the pair headed toward the elevator.

Kate leaned against Rick the moment the doors slid shut behind them. "You've been awfully quiet for a while. Working on something interesting?"

"Another bucket list."

"Oh, can I see?"

"Ummmmm." Rick dropped his eyes to the floor.

"What? I can't see!?"

"Not right now, no."

She felt a little put out. Castle almost never told her no. And although it made her seem like a spoiled child, it hurt.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I'm not saying never... just... now is not the time."

XXXXXXXXXX

Kate watched as Rick maneuvered the sleek sports car through the busy urban streets, as she searched her mind for something to say. Although their silence was a comfortable one, the lack of conversation gave her time to fester on the mystery of Rick's new list. She reminded herself, that he had every right to his privacy, and that she had asked the same of him on more than one occasion. It didn't have any deep seeded meaning that she should worry about. It just meant that they both had some things that were personal and didn't need to be shared. That was OK. It had to be OK. Yet it continued to eat at her. She felt as if she could burst from curiosity.

Once they were onto Long Island, Rick scooted back in his seat a little more and grinned at her. "It's killing you isn't it?"

"What!?"

"You know what I mean."

Kate shook her head and stared out to the road ahead, consciously avoiding his prying eyes. "I have no idea _what_ you're talking about."

"Right. If you chew on that lip any harder, I'll have nothing left to kiss."

Kate rolled her eyes at his ridiculousness, but released her bottom lip from between her teeth. "I'm just excited to have a weekend away."

"Uh huh. I suppose you have a bridge to sell me too?" He took his hand from the gear shift long enough to squeeze her knee. "Why is it so important for you to know what I put on my list? There's nothing bad on there. It's not like I wrote, 'Be with someone else'."

"No, no. I didn't think you did. I trust you... I guess I'm just curious. I thought you'd want to share your plans and aspirations with me."

"I do."

"Then why won't you tell me? I thought we were kinda at the point where we tell each other everything."

Rick sighed and gripped the wheel a little tighter. "Really Kate? So you've told me _everything_?"

Once again Kate heard Rick's words from the past. "___Because_ _I think ____you_ _are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating, person I've ever met and I ____love you Kate, and if that means anything to you, if you care at all...__" _So he was right, she hadn't told him everything.

"I'm sorry Castle. I should have let it drop. I trust you and I respect your privacy."

They drove on in silence for a while longer, not upset, but not quite as relaxed as before.

"Walk Alexis down the aisle." Rick said out of nowhere.

"Excuse me?"

"It's one of the things on my new list. I want to give Alexis away on her wedding day."

"That's so sweet, but you didn't have to tell me. I'm OK with it."

"I know you're trying to be OK with it, but you aren't really. Not yet at least."

He knew her so well.

"And I still have 'Visit Antarctica' and 'Travel into space' from my last list."

"Well I'm glad to see those still there," Kate chuckled, but felt guilty about him telling her now.

"Let's see, there was also..."

"Stop Castle." Kate raised her arm to rest on the back of Rick's seat, so that she could lightly caress the back of his head. "I don't want to know anymore. You're being very sweet by appeasing me, but you don't want to tell me and that's fine. I really am OK with you keeping this to yourself. I mean it. One day if you decide to tell me or show me the list, I'll be happy to see it, but now is not that time."

Genuine gratitude radiated from Rick's face. "Thank you."

They returned to their comfortable silence, letting the music fill the car. About ten minutes later Rick spoke again.

"Can I ask you a question even if it opens a can of worms?"

Kate swallowed down a wave of nerves. "Yes."

"What would you have done, a year or two ago if you'd seen my last bucket list?"

"I don't think I know what you mean."

"I know how much you were affected the other day when you read that the one thing I wanted, more than anything else, was to be with you. You understood the depth of that simple sentence; what that really meant. You were moved by it, but it was the right time for you to know that. If you'd seen that a year or two ago, what would you have done?"

She thought honestly about it. "I... I uh, probably would have either dismissed that as being a purely physical goal, or I would have panicked that you maybe wanted more than I could ever give."

"Exactly. And that is why I don't want to show you my new list. I'm not going to lie. Several of the top things involve you, and a future with you. Maybe they'll happen, maybe they won't. I guess time will tell. But I don't want to put that pressure on us when we aren't there yet. Three years ago, I knew I wanted to be with you, but I tried to let it happen naturally. And I'm so glad I did, because we grew to be so much more than I imagined. And if I, we, achieve the things I have on my new list, I want them to occur just as organically. Does that make sense?"

It did make sense. And now Kate finally understood. Thoughts of what could be on that list floated through her mind. Living together? Marriage? Children? Happily ever afters? As wonderful as those seemed, she knew she was barely ready to let her own mind wonder to such thoughts; she certainly wasn't ready to talk about them with Rick. Not yet.

"Yes, Rick. It does. Thank you for being so honest about it. I appreciate your... foresight and consideration. Will you forgive me for not just accepting your answer right off the bat? You were right, it's not time for me to know."

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Yes there..."

"Kate!" He interrupted forcefully. "There is nothing to forgive. OK?"

"K."

"Good. Now do you mind grabbing me a water bottle from the back?"

XXXXXXXXXX

Very late that night, Kate sat, curled up in the chair of their room with a small spiral notebook, while Rick snored softly from the bed.

Even though their discussion in the car had quelled her curiosity and yes, even the insecurities she hadn't wanted to acknowledge, it hadn't taken the bucket list out of her mind. Instead, it left her wondering what her list would look like.

After working on if for more than an hour, she had six flipped-over pages of scratched out attempts, one list of possible suggestions, and now, maybe, a completed list.

Carefully, Kate read and reread the list, making changes here and there until eventually she was satisfied. When she finally had it just the way she wanted, she read it one final time from bottom to top...

20. Take a hot air balloon ride at sunset.

19. Invent my own ice cream flavor.

18. Watch every James Bond movie in one weekend.

17. Go to LA Comic-Con.

16. Achieve black belt in Karate.

15. Get a puppy.

14. Be kissed in the Eiffel Tower.

13. Run New York Marathon with Lanie.

12. Make love with Rick on a moonlit beach.

11. Sky dive.

10. Learn to play the cello.

9. Finish law degree.

8. Be publicly open about my relationship with Rick/ Move in together.

7. Take Dad to England to visit his distant family.

6. Visit every continent, even Antarctica.

5. Make Captain.

4. Have children.

3. Get married.

2. Bring Bracken down.

1. Be able to tell Rick I love him.

Nervous excitement filled Kate as she read. With Castle by her side, she could see herself being able to check every one of these off, in time. He made her feel like anything was possible, and not just because he would give her the sun and moon if it was his to give, but because he inspired her deepest confidence and her strongest desires.

He had been right earlier today, three years ago she never could have accepted the thought of them being together. Not because she didn't want it, but because she wouldn't allow it. She was living in the past, for the past; she was driven by that past that she couldn't change. Now? Now was different. Now she lived for the tomorrows. She didn't know how many she'd have but if she made each one count, what would she have to regret?

Before turning off the light and heading to bed, Kate ran her finger over every line of the list then folded it up and tucked it into an envelope with Rick's old list that she'd salvaged. Two lists, two lives, two times, but linked together in so many ways.

Kate placed the envelope in the drawer next to her side of the bed, then crawled in next to Castle. Immediately he stopped snoring, turned over, and spooned his body up against hers, hugging her to him while he slept on. Everything about them fit together, not just physically, but in every aspect of their lives, even when they probably shouldn't. Kate sighed contently and then allowed the joy she felt to break into a radiant smile, barely masked by the darkness of the room. As her eyes fluttered shut, Rick's arm tightened around her. Yes, she was definitely living for the tomorrows.

In that instant, she knew that for one item on her list, "tomorrow" was no longer an abstract amount of time in the future; it was only a few hours away. For tomorrow would be the day that she would begin checking off her list, starting with something long overdo. Something he, no, they, both needed to hear. Something that made her heart pound loudly into the still of the night. Suddenly, tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

The End

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**A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to read Re-listed. I hope you enjoyed it. It wasn't something I planned to write, but I woke up from a Sunday afternoon nap with it in my head, and I just couldn't drop it, so I put it on paper. I hope it's different from other post "Scared To Death" fics... I haven't had a chance to read any of those yet!**

**Again thanks for reading and for any feedback you'd care to share. Have a great day!**

**DeBo81**


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